true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i think i just lost a toe
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