Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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