I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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