Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
