new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
