i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
