I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
