Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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