office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize