I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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