ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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