you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
