the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
