You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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