i just wanna soil my oats bro
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
