Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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