okay pat passed out under dana's car
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
