therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
