just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Randomize