i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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