your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
