i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
