i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
