Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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