No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
