how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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