This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
