Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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