cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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