I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
