No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
