he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
