Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
