Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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