Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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