It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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