remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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