She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
