Moan for me like Helen Keller
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
