I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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