I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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