Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
