Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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