Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
