They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize