that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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