Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
the liver wants what the liver wants
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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