your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
