There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm gonna fight the coyote
All I want is dick and wine.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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