id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
