Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
