Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She bit a glass in half.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Randomize
