my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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