dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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