it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My breasts were aching with rage.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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