He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
