I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize