what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The best revenge is premature balding
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
