you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
