Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
