That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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