so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
