i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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