More tranny stories later!
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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